Lesbian Life Blog

My Life, My Struggles & Being a Woman in a Man's World

The Podcasts

By Aliya Leigh

What are the qualifications to get the GLBT membership card?  Some women asks me this question a lot, but the wording is different.

Like the GLBT club is a secret society and by holding this membership card, the street are paved with gold, the body turns into Jade and Diamonds, your eyes become stars, you become a God on earth and people will worship you.   

With this membership card, you get the VIP treatment; the world can offer.  You are a giant and no one, not even the law can touch you.  You are unstoppable, untouchable; even the Mexican Mafia will tremble at your feet and lick the crack of your ass. People will care for your needs and lick your feet to clean them. You are the most powerful person on Earth, even Jehovah God trembles at your feet.    

First, I am going to throw out GLBT and officially change it to Queer.  Queer is easy and covers a lot of ground.

I got a call from a young woman who wanted to get a Queer membership card. She asked me so many questions about being a Lesbian, sex toys, threesomes, clubs and what type of girls I am into.  Now, I’m not going to lie, I love blonde and blue eyes women because they look unique, but I also love a strong woman with brains, common sense, wisdom and has a wonderful beautiful soul.  I am dating a woman like that now and I will never trade her for a blonde.

But, this young woman who I was talking to on the phone, asked me the most personal questions of my life. I wanted to hang up, but I needed her to see my point of view.  Why?

This was the reason; I wanted her to understand about what it’s like being a true Lesbian.  But, what is a true Lesbian? Great question. 

This is what I am tried of:


  • Women who are pissed off with men and believe women will treat them better
  • Women who have seen “The L Word” too many times
  • Women who believe, if you go Queer you will become wealthy
  • Women who believe that most Lesbians always have threesomes
  • Women who believe that sex is better with a woman than a man
  • Women who are lonely and need a body to hug
  • Women who think, being a Lesbian is the new trend or new fashion statement
  • Women who believe Lesbians are freaks in the bedroom


Unfortunately, the Queer community doesn’t have a certain skin color, height, weight, look, sound or anything like that.  To be in the Queer community, it’s based on if you say “I’m Queer”.  I can’t say actions because there are some Queers who are in the closet, they in the shadows of life and that’s their choice.

The only way, you can tell when someone is Queer, is by Queer Radar; you just know.  It can be a touch, a feeling or a look.  You just know when you are around your own kind.  Queers and Straights have been trying to figure out the Queer Radar and they can’t understand it; it’s just a simple feeling.

This is a list of qualifications to belong to the Queer club; which I don’t agree with:


  • Have you had a same-sex relationship
  • Have you slept with someone of the same-sex
  • Do you go to Queer Pride
  • Do you go to Queer clubs
  • Are you an activist in the Queer community


These questions are so stupid, they make me vomit.  I knew I was Queer when I was 5 years old, but had sex at age 25.  I do go to Queer clubs, Queer Pride and I’m active in the Queer community, but I should not get a Queer membership card just for that.

Being Queer is not a question; it’s what you are as a person.  If you have to question your sexuality and don’t know if you are Queer, then you are not Queer. 

Some straight women will cry, yell and scream over the fact, I told them, “You are NOT Queer.” This doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world for you.  You are straight and you need to be proud to be straight.” Does that make sense?

Being Queer is a hard life in mainstream society. Queers don’t have the same rights as Straight people do. 

It seems to me, people who are forcing themselves to be Queer are just looking for acceptance in the world or something is missing in their lives.  I am hear to tell you, if you need to be around people, get out and do something. It’s common sense.  You don’t have to force yourself to Queer because if you do, you will make yourself look more foolish. 

For example, I knew a Lesbian, I will name Tina.  Tina and I became friends and I introduced her to my friends. No, I was not dating her. I just wanted to have a close friend. 

One night, I was with Tina and my friends.  Tina asked this, “Why do you guys dislike men?” 

I looked at her to see if she was serious and she was. 

She asked another question, “You guys don’t like penises?” I looked at her again.

I couldn’t believe the questions coming out of her mouth. How can you be a Lesbian and asks questions like that? I was stunned and my friends had question marks orbiting their heads. 

Found out, Tina was not a Lesbian. She had been watching too much of “The L Word”. The main reason why, I hate that show! 

Lesbians do love men.  It’s just in our make-up not to have sex with men; not because we believe men are a walking disease.

I love having sex with women, not because I had some bad dick, a man slapped the shit out of me or I was sexually abused.  I love men as brothers and friends, not as sexual objects. There are so many hot hot hot looking men, I know.  When I see them, I look at them and wonder what they will look like nude.  When I see the visual in my head, I am sexually turned off.

There are no qualifications to get a Queer Membership card. Just be yourself.  If you are not Queer, you are not Queer. I can’t explain it. You are what you are. 

This is my life, I don’t think of Queer being a trend, a fashion statement, rebellion against America or a sex freak.  It is what it is.  You can’t force something you are not. If you do, you will hate yourself and that hate will transfer to others. You will be alone and no one will care. 

So be yourself!  Be proud to be you!  Don’t change for no one.   

Having a Queer membership in the mainstream world is like being in a small animal cage, starving for food and love.

It’s not all fun and games. 

  • All Queers don’t sit around the house with friends drinking wine all day
  • All Queers don’t always have shopping sprees; everyday
  • All Queers are not wealthy
  • All Queers don’t have multiple sex partners
  • All Queers don’t run around town half nude
  • Some Queers can’t stand each other
  • Some Queers don’t go to the clubs
  • All Queers don’t get discounts on food, clothing and other stuff

Queers are people, are just like everyone else.  We get sick, died, poor, wealthy, have hardships, poor health, bad sex, breakups and make-ups, eat, sleep and shop. 

To me, Queers are like Vampires.  We can be anyone. We are in groups and we love the taste of flesh. And we believe, we will always be fabulous and never die.   

Category:Aliya Leigh Live - Podcast -- posted at: 1:38am EDT

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