Aug 5.

Hi.  Two weekends ago, I went to a religious thing down in Tucson, Arizona.  I did it for my parents, so we can have something to talk about.  I stay at the religious thing from Saturday to Sunday. Just goes to show you, I love my parents.

I saw so old friends and met new ones. But, one thing, I learned from the whole thing was REGRETS. 

If you listen to my podcasts, you would know, I'm a once a month girl.  I date a girl for only a month. I didn't know why, until I thought about it.  I have a problem with commitments. My friends know about this bad problem I have. 

My ex-love who was hot and juicy was the only one that made me commit and I have happy about it. She just went crazy and started hating Blacks and Hispanics. "Hello, I'm BLACK".

I thought about it, I was happy to be with her and to be part of her life, but I was thinking about the future too much instead of think about today. That was the key. 

My ex-love mess-up me and I had to deal with it.  So, now, when I date a woman, I think about when she's going to leave me, she's so old and I may have to change her Depends, or maybe I can find someone better.  Than I also feel, I couldn't have came out of the closet.

Now, I was thinking about this during the religious thing.  When we broke for lunch, I walked to Subway. I met a guy who talked to me about the bible and life.  I told him, I could not join the religion because of my lifestyle.  He thought, I was into drugs and crime, you know.  The bad things people go to jail for and find God.  I told him, "I'm a lesbian". He was shocked. 

One thing I CANT STAND IS WHEN I STRAIGHT PERSON SAYS "You choose to be gay." 

WTF?  I didn't choose this and then regret enter into my mind.  I thought about it.   I told him, "This is who I am. And as God is my witness, I am NOT going back into the closet." 

I spent too many good years in the closet. Now, I'm more free then before.  I'm so happy.

I'm whole and I don't have any regrets about it. I am who I am.  But, I need to slow down. I know it. I'm going to make commitments.  My profile is on Match.com. 

Remember, my sugar mama, she went to Europe and found the love of her life in London, after three weeks.  I'm so happy for her.  She will be going back to London soon to see the woman. I'm happy for her, but I don't think it's going to last.   My opinion. But opinions are like aholes, everyone has one.